17 years ago, hide passed away. We know him as the original guitarist of X Japan, but also as an amazing solo artist. He has been an inspiration for so many, and still are, and truly put is mark on the Japanese rock scene. This day, 17 years ago, hide was found hanged in his apartment. Nobody knows if it was an accident or a suicide.
He was only 33 year old then. If he would have lived today, he would have been 51 years old.
hide is very special to me. To honor his memory, I will share random stories and videos that I like. Let’s remember him with joy and gratitude.
hide, rest in peace! ❤
Let’s start with a laugh
I love following video, since it shows hide’s goofy personality. ^^
The story about hide and Mayuko
hide truly had a good heart. He was a blood-donor and involved himself in medical aid foundations and participated in the Social Medical Programme of helping very sick children.
He went to hospitals for charity reasons, but also to visit fans to bring some light and happiness in their lives.
This story concerns a special girl called Mayuko.
One autumn, hide received a letter from her in which she asked him to see her. She suffered from an incurable illness called “Norman-Landing disease” and had small chances to survive. Her last wish in life was to meet hide.
When this came to hide’s knowledge he immediately invited her and her parents to a concert with X-Japan. She also got a VIP-pass so she could meet him and the other members backstage where she got gifts and autographs.
Following is a description of what they say in the video below in which Mayuko meets hide for the first time.
[hide walks in]
hide: Sorry I’m late! Hello, how are you?
Mayuko: It’s very nice to meet you.
hide: Nice to meet you, please sit down.
Mayuko: I have a gift for you.
hide: Oh, really?
[Mayuko hands him a gift]
hide: Can I open it?
Mother: She worked very hard on this.
[The gift is a scarf and he puts it on directly]
hide: Thank you, thank you!
[hide gives Mayuko a guitar and is about to sign it]
hide: Which color?
[hide signs the guitar]
Mayuko: In February I’m going to write you a letter, will you please reply?
Mother: In a few weeks she is going to the hospital and not coming back home. But she really appreciates you and we were hoping you could at least call so she could hear your voice.
hide: I will go see you, hold on, we both will!
This video is sooo touching.
In the end of this video you can see that Mayuko have a VIP pass around her neck on which it’s written: “To Mayuko, I will come meet you soon. Do your best!! See you! hide.”
This meeting must have given Mayuko an incredible strength, cause her operation went well and her health improved. hide became so touched by her story that he registered in Bank of marrow and became a donor. When this came to the fans knowledge, a lot of them decided to follow his example.
Mayuko and hide kept contact via letters. Sometimes he came to see her and they became very close friends. He even wrote a beautiful song for her: “Misery“.
Here you can see him perform it.
Mayuko did long after hide’s death speak very fondly about him on her website.
This is Mayuko’s own words. It’s impossible not to get tears in your eyes when you read it.
“hide used to come and play with/see me very often, sometimes Yoshiki would come as well.
During one of their performances, hide gave me a front ticket, and asked the staff members to escort me backstage to his change room. He was afraid that the fans would squash me. I waited for him in his change room, he came in and took my hand. His hands were shaking, I think he was really excited. He then carried me on his back and ran around the entire backstage, kicking people’s doors open and shouting “Yo! I have a friend to introduce to you”.
When he kicked open Yoshiki’s door, Yoshiki was dumbstruck with shock… Yoshiki hasn’t even taken off his make-up yet.
Then afterwards, they decided to go drinking. Due to my health problem, I can’t walk very fast. So, hide held my hand and walked very slowly with me. Soon enough, everyone started disappearing in front of us. Then, we saw a figure leaning against a wall in front of us. When we got near, we realized that it was Yoshiki. Yoshiki said “I’ve been waiting for you.” Then he came over and took my other hand.
So the three of us slowly walked on. I was really happy to see Yoshiki waiting there, even though I knew he wasn’t waiting for me.
I went to hide-san’s funeral as well, I sat there and couldn’t stop crying. Yoshiki came over and knelt down beside me.
Even though he was wearing dark sunglasses, I knew that he was looking at me. I knew that he wanted to comfort me in some way so that I’d stop crying.
After a long while he finally said, “hide-ji is not here anymore, yoshiki-ni will stay with you.”
I once again started crying non-stop, Yoshiki started crying as well. He looked really sad and heartbroken. It was the first time I’ve actually seen him cry, with no make-up, no barrier, he didn’t even bother hiding it.”
Mayuko survived hide, but passed away 2009.
hide and Mayuko, rest in peace
One of my favorite interviews
hide tells about his living in Los Angeles and how he once scared off some muggers by starting to dance when he was drunk. In the end he perform live with one of my favorite songs: “Beauty and Stupid”.
When hide was drunk…
When hide had been out drinking, he almost never remembered what had happened when he woke up the next morning. Mostly he called Yoshiki and asked: “What did I do?”
hide liked to drink. He had a whole list of people in his phone-book that he regularly called, persuaded them to go out drinking with him. hide would never take a “no” and kept bugging them ’til they gave up, even though they had work or other duties to take care of.
When they eventually arrived, hide made sure that they couldn’t leave by hiding their shoes and coats. Pata claimed that hide just couldn’t get why people wouldn’t wanna stay and drink all night – just like him. What a character, hah?
hide did actually get quite rampageous when he got drunk. Taiki Sawada describes how he one night woke up at a hotel by extremely loud noises downstairs. At first he feared it could be Yakuza (the Japanese mafia) so he stayed in his room. But when the turbulence never stopped, he decided to go down to take a look.
He didn’t find Yakuza though.
He found hide!
hide was obviously drunk and very upset with the staff, standing there with a raised fist. Taiji thought that hide was going to punch one of the men in the face, but instead – to our all surprise I guess – he stuck up his fingers into the guys nostrils and swore.
Luckily, Taiji managed to calm down hide and make an end to the fight.
Well, I think it’ pretty suitable to take a look at a live performance of “D.O.D” (Drink or die) – don’t you? ^^ You find the lyrics below.
Yoshiki’s memories of hide
I love to hear stories about hide by people who knew him in person. It kind of makes me feel like I know him myself a little better.
A year after hide’s death, Yoshiki* published the following story on a Japanese website, titled as “Memories of hide”. There’s no sadness or guilt in this story. No, this is very charming and funny memories of a very special person who used to be his best friend.
It’s wonderful reading! Enjoy!
*Yoshiki was the drummer and band-leader in X-Japan. He and hide were very close friends.
It has been a year already.
Ever since that day, I’ve been thinking about those countless memories I’ve shared with hide. I thought about them, remembered them, and talked to hide about them. At that time, these precious memories will make me ache whenever I think about them. However, maybe it’s because of the one year time, I find these things so warm in my memories. Talking and sharing about these things involving hide with his fans, a year ago, I’d never had thought it was possible. I’m still a little confused right now, and as of here, I’ll pick those happy memories.
I’ll think and try to tell everyone at the same time.
The first time I talked to hide, it was when he was still in Saber Tiger.
His band and X made this mix CD together, that was the first time I played drums for hide. Before that, I’ve seen a couple of hide’s performances, and thought:
“What unbelievable performance that was.”
However, when we talked for the first time, I’ve only thought: ‘His face looks totally different from when he was on stage.’
However, we only communicated to the minimum. The real talk started when X had a performance, and he came.
It was in some staircase, he said:
“I’m hide from Saber Tiger.”
I was shocked, and said:
His face was different once again. *laughs*
However, when did we become really close? I really don’t remember. We became close friends unknowingly, and then, we started hanging out often. The first time hide and I performed together, I think it was probably on ‘Explosion’, at that time, I used to put fire in a pot. One day, the fire was too big, and the place was too small. All the audiences went out for safety, my face, hide’s face, everyone’s face was all black afterwards.
There are many mysteries revolving hide.
One mystery that still remains today is: for some unknown reason, hide would not like anyone see his top naked. When we were backstage, we usually hung out together, so how could we not see the top part? But, really, I’ve seen the bottom half, but really have never seen the top half. *laughs* He’s always changing secretively in a corner somewhere.
“hide, do you have chest hair?”
Even though we were joking, but in a live, when Toshi would say ‘take it off’, hide would never take it off. He’d always say ‘take it off’, but he’d never do so himself. He really does follow his own rules. Even when we went swimming, he still has to wear a shirt. That scene is really weird and somewhat suspicious.
Talking about swimming, hide nearly drowned in my swimming pool at my LA house. *laughs*
hide was drunk and three roddy (some dude) into my swimming pool, and then, I threw hide into the swimming pool. My pool is actually quite deep.
And then, he would scream:
“I can’t reach the bottom… I can’t swim anymore…”
… and swim at the same time.
…. it was not really swimming, more like drowning….
Oh yes, also our ‘food fight’.
hide always thought that if we go to a really expensive, high class restaurant, then everything will taste good there. The most important part is, his taste buds are a bit off. Whose taste bud is actually correct? There was once a magazine that used this question and went into a ‘argument’ state. hide’s reasons was: if you mix together all these tasty food, then there’ had to be no reason for them not to taste good! Even if it was kidney and tofu mixed together, which are in no relevance to each other, he’d still say it tastes good.
“That’s really strange.”
For example, I like to eat pudding and sea urchin, but they definitely wouldn’t taste good mixed together. No matter how tasty the food is, if you eat it with something that doesn’t have any relevance to eachother, it won’t taste good.
Ah, but, after hide’s drunk, he wouldn’t know what he’d be eating, he’ll just eat everything and anything. So… in the end, we don’t know if hide is good at drinking or bad at drinking.
I think he wasn’t that good. He would get drunk easily and then start destroying.
But, I’m the only one that could stop hide.
I’d always get our manager’s call:
“Yoshiki, hide is going crazy again, please come over.”
Then, I’d go over to where hide’s drinking.
He would respond really quickly.
And then he’d stop and ask me.
“Ah, what did I do?”
Not only is his taste bad, but his eyes are bad too, he always said:
“I can’t drive in the night.”
When we were in X, hide and I were the only ones that could drive. When we were still Indies, hide and I took our turns driving. But, he can’t drive at night! But… when we’re travelling from place to place, it’s usually at night. Therefore, it was always me that drove, and we used to argue much over this topic. *laughs*
And then, there was this period of time where hide was crazy about his ‘hat’.
I don’t remember which concert, but after the live, we got back to our hotel, and the fire alarm went off.
When I ran outside, hide was holding the fire extinguisher and yelling:
“My hat is missing!”
After that, I cared for hide’s hat like I would for a musical instrument. Before a live, I’d ask:
“hide, is your hat with you?”
When we were in Shibuya once, I asked him:
“Where is your hat?”
“It’s here. Oh yeah, let’s make a song about hats.”
And then he started singing:
“My hat, it’s like this and like that…”
…and walked on at the same time.
That’s right, there’re endless things we could talk about. But if we continue like this, even a month wouldn’t be enough. But, out of everything, the most vivid memories are still the ones that hide and me, and the members and the fans all shared. The memories are too beautiful, that’s why it’s even sadder. But, they gave me today the strength to live on every single day.
To those fans that created all these memories with us, and of course hide as well…
Thank you, really, thank you. /Yoshiki
The entire interview can be read HERE.
hide’s very last interview
It was recorded May 1st, the day before his death. Does it seem to you that he was depressed and wanted to commit suicide…? If you ask me – NO. hides death must have been an accident. Or maybe a stupid impulse under the influence of alcohol. But I don’t think that he really, really wanted to die.
The interview have English subtitles!
We love you Pink Spider. Rest in peace!
December 13th 1964, born in Kanagawa, Yokosuka
May 2nd 1998, in Tokyo
- Vo&Gt. hide → (SABER TIGER→SAVER TIGER) → X → X JAPAN, hide(solo) → hide with Spread Beaver, zilch → [deceased May 2nd 1998]