In memory of hide #32

After the violation of hide’s grave, I’ve decided to dedicate this week to him; to honor his memory in times when others don’t. This is for all of you who loves hide.

What will we do without you...?

What will we do without you…?

After hide’s death, Yoshiki wrote a song for him.

“Without you”.

Surprisingly, he performed it with Toshi, even though Yoshiki and Toshi didn’t have had any contact for a very long time since Yoshiki accused Toshi to be the reason for X-Japan’s breakup.

Following is a part of an interview with Yoshiki from the magazine “Fools’ Mate” (2007):

Yoshiki: “Last year, Toshi suddenly made a phone call to my studio in LA… I also knew someone else whose name was Toshi, so I asked the staff in my studio, ‘Which Toshi is it? THAT Toshi?! It’s impossible!’ I phoned back and found it was really that Toshi. So I talked to him like ‘How are you? And what are you doing now?’ …We hadn’t talked to each other for 7 or 8 years at that time. And I suddenly felt very sad.”

Interviewer: “7 or 8 years?”

Yoshiki: “Yeah. We didn’t talk to each other after hide’s funeral. And I had nothing to talk to him.”

Interviewer: “…Does it matter if I write the sentence originally as you said just now?”

Yoshiki: “It doesn’t matter. At that time I just talked to him and suddenly felt so sad. Then I met him during my short visit to Japan. I was really busy but I tried to spare some time. We talked about X JAPAN’s live but we didn’t consider more. After that, we made phone calls again. I found that – as a matter of fact, Toshi knew that I wrote a song for hide.”

Interviewer:“You mean Without You, isn’t it?”

Yoshiki: “Yes. But I have so many things to do. So he told me through his manager that he might come to LA. I thought that I would spare him a day if he really comes here. But when he came here, I found it difficult to understand his opinion, even though we talked a lot… But I still wanted him to sing that song. He agreed instantly. So he sang it along the piano but… His voice was so nice, of course… But at that moment, I heard him singing, thinking of X, I wondered whether I should release this song or not…”

Interviewer: “You met Toshi again after 7 or 8 years… How did it feel when you heard him singing Without You?”

Yoshiki: “Very beautiful. He has a really good voice.”

Interviewer: “But you felt it difficult to understand him…?”

Yoshiki: “You mean the Toshi at present? In fact, I can hardly describe my feelings clearly.”

X-Japan was reunited after this occasion.

Yoshiki and Toshi performs Without you

My holy Goddess… I just cry my eyes out when I watch these videos, especially while watching the clips of hide …

Without you lyrics

Lyrics translated into English (the night of Destruction Version)

I’m tired of walking and standing in the night
I cover my memory with flowing tears

The number of meeting makes the same number of separation, but
I believed that limitless time goes on

Now I embrace even words which hurt each other
And I only look back

I feel alone…
How should I love you
How could I feel you
Without you…

Innumerable memories fill up the time
I loved you, and I was hurt by you

I realized the depth of the word ‘LOVE’.
I still remember

the days when I searched answer-less tomorrow for a dream
I ask the sky which expands boundlessly meaning of birth, meaning of living now Again…

How should I love you
How could I feel you
Without you…

The endless poem of ”LOVE”,
(I’ll dedicate it) to you now…

Lyrics in roman letters (the night of Destruction Version)

Aruki tsukareta Yoru ni tatazumu
Nagareru namida o kioku ni Kasanete

Deai no kazu dake Wakare wa arukedo
Kagirinai toki ga tuduku to shinjiteta

Kizutsuke atta kotoba sae Ima ha dakishime

I feel alone…
How should I love you
How could I feel you
Without you…

Kazoekire nai omoide ga jikan o umetsukusu

Anata o aishite anata ni kizutsuite
Ai to iu kotoba no fukasa ni kizuita

I still remember

Kotae no nai ashita ni yume o motomete ita hibi o
Kagirinaku hirogaru sora ni mou ichido Umareta imi ima o ikiru imi o toikakete…

How should I love you
How could I feel you
Without you…

Owari no nai Ai no uta o ima anata ni…


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Formed: 1982
Disband: 1997
Comeback: 2007

Changed name: from X to X JAPAN 1992 to distinguish from an American punk group with the same name.

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Vocal: Toshi
Vocal: Toshi (Toshimitsu Deyama) (出山利三)
template-cakeOct 10th 1965
template webpage homepagetemplate youtube
Guitar: Pata
(石塚 智昭)
Guitar: Pata (Tomoaki Ishizuka) (石塚 智昭)
template-cakeNov 4th 1965
template_facebooktemplate webpage homepage
Guitar: Sugizo
(杉原 康弘)
Guitar: Sugizo (Yasuhiro Sugihara) (杉原 康弘)
template-cakeJuly 8th 1969
template_twittertemplate_facebooktemplate webpage homepage
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Bass: Heath
(森江 博)
Bass: Heath (Hiroshi Morie) (森江 博)
template-cakeJan 22nd 1968
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Drums: Yoshiki
(林 佳樹)
Drums: Yoshiki (Yoshiki Hayashi) (林 佳樹)
template-cakeNov 20th 1965
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Eternal Members

Guitar: hide (Hideto Matsumoto) (松本秀人)
Gt: hide (Hideto Matsumoto)
template-cakeDec 13th 1964
template crossMay 2nd 1998
Bass: TAIJI (Sawada Taiji) (沢田 泰司)
template-cakeJuly 12th 1966
template crossJuly 17th 2011

Member History

Former members:

  • Gt. hide → (SABER TIGER→SAVER TIGER) → XX JAPAN, hide(solo) → hide with Spread Beaver, zilch → [deceased May 2nd 1998]
  • Ba. TAIJI → TRASH → DEMENTIA → PLOWER → X → FATIMA, DEAD WIRE → X → LOUDNESS → D.T.R., Kings → D.T.R. → Cloud Nine → Otokaze → Taiji with Heaven’s, The Killing Red Addiction, D.T.R., Cloud Nine, TSP → [deceased July 17th 2011]

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