In memory of hide #31

After the violation of hide’s grave, I’ve decided to dedicate this week to him; to honor his memory in times when others don’t. This is for all of you who loves hide.

Hideto hide Matsumoto

Hideto hide Matsumoto

This post will be about one of hide’s most beautiful songs: Honey blade.

The following text is written by hide for this song. It’s a very emotional and touching story. I don’t know if it’s about something real, maybe it’s a story about a girl that left him for another? It it so beautiful, ’cause it gives me a glimpse of hide’s mind. But it’s also painful. hide’s things used to be that: a mixture of beauty and pain.

Below you can find two video clips and the lyrics.

HONEY BLADE, a text written by hide

Maybe it’s the fault of the tuxedo I’m not used to. I’m incredibly excited. I’m anxious to get rid of my shoes and to fall down on my bed, I bathed in and drank so much champagene I have the feeling the alcohol has gone even to my fingertips. I’m looking for the switch of the lamp in the dark, the pouring light has softly lit up the past that’s lying on the night table.

“I’m back!”

Slightly kissing the cut out memory. Banned into a square frame, how you smiled at me that day a long time ago. How you embrace the chrysanthemes, the skirt a little rumpled, a pose like you were about to dance. That the landscape is a little blurred behind you, is because you just couldn’t keep still. This was your 14th summer. That day was your birthday and we had gone out for a picknick. You wore a one piece dress, colored like the sky. I gave you this cheap dress as a present. After you opened the box, you embraced me, kissed me, you even cried a little. Why haven’t I made you mine that day? Why haven’t I stopped time on that day, on that day of your 14th summer…

I cut my hand when I threw this happy memory to the floor and the glass splintered. Don’t look at me like that! You have gone to a place where I cannot reach you anymore, even if I hold out my hands. Although you are locked away behind the broken glass, you are still laughing at me so happily. When you were 15 you went to the city to live in a students home of your school and every time you came back home for holidays, the things that I didn’t know about you grew and grew. I felt so scary, I couldn’t help being scared. Surely you would forget about me sooner or later. When I thought about this I had the feeling I’m going mad.

“Don’t worry, I’m only surrounded by other girls, I like you so much… I like you more than anything else in the world” With such a sweet face it was no problem for you to tell this lie. My fear has come true, therefore, today, this farce… You have been so incredibly beautiful today, somehow your wedding dress resembled that one piece I gave you that day long ago. You threw the flowers in the showering rice corns. With a smile like never before you received the best wishes of all your guests. But I don’t think you know with what kind of memories I watched you doing so.

hide1Why have you called me to church? Don’t you think that’s cruel? I thought you had understood. I remember the day I saw you first time so well. You have been like an angel, really… If I were not by your side, if I did not protect you, you would be destroyed, that’s what I felt when I saw you. Well, that’s only what I thought, there were others to protect you. I don’t want to give you to anybody. I can’t stand it that you will belong to anyone except me. Thanks to you I can do anything. I can give you anything you wish. I know what you are thinking, I know what you are suffering from, just by looking at you, because I love you more than anything else in this world. You said so yourself! We swore to each other so many times “I love you”.

However, you chose this guy. Why not me? Why him and not me? This guy! This guy! This guy! I don’t understand why.

There is only one way left for me, this cold clod of steel I prepared for that day. It’s easy, you just have to pull the trigger. I don’t like to see flowers in full bloom because they will start to whither soon after. I don’t want to see you whither away. I don’t want to see how my little angel becomes just an ordinary woman. I believe that every man thinks like that, he too, this whimsical bastard. He will strain to keep the flower in bloom, in vain, damn sure! Ah, what a strange dark and light feeling, if I stop it now you will forever bloom and grow inside me. I will embrace you, kiss you, like back then, as we did so many times, so many times. Good-bye, I will leave, when I will be reborn and meet you again, that time I will, that time I will, I will…


When I opened my eyes he looked at me with worry in his face.

“Didn’t you hear a gunshot?” “A gunshot? I was having a nightmare, I was moaning all the time I guess.” Who is this guy? Calling my name, pulling the trigger, this man… “We have been so busy all day long, surely our imagination ran wild”. He drinks a glass of water at one gulp. The white mist inside my head is slowly drifting away a little bit. Although I am used to nightmares my fingers won’t stop trembling. “It’s always like that, whenever something changes in my life, I start to see nightmares, as if an unseen hand tries to throttle me, terrible nightmares”.

His arms hold me around the waist like the waters of the ocean. The sound of the tide makes me feel safe. “From today on you will never have bad drems again.” Somewhere I heard this phrase before. Though he must have chosen these words to this effect. But it’s all right that way. I wanted to marry an ordinary man, I wanted to raise a family like any other. My mother gave birth to me when she was just 16, after that she disappeared. Both my parents have been much too young to become parents themselves already. I don’t want to be like my mother, it’s only arrogance to want to live an eccentric life.

An orange neon sign lights up the room ghostly. The last train departs and makes the window frame shaking. Here in this old hotel begins our tomorrow. “I always wanted to have just an ordinary familiy somewhere deep down in my heart. When you come home from school your mother is there, you wash your hands, show her your tests, she scolds you. If you come home only a little late you father asks you if you have made your first boy-friend. Such a family I always wanted to have.” “We can do that, it’s easy”.

Yes. It’s easy. That man who embraces my waist now can grant me this dream for sure. I don’t need more to be happy. However… This guy from before… who was that? Embracing my photo and the splinters of glass in this dark room, crying all over. I don’t remember this man’s face, but me, on this photo… have I ever worn such a one piece dress? This is what I am wondering about most of all.

When I received this dress as a present I was so happy, so happy, I even cried a little. Because I thought that, if I had a mother, she surely would have made such a dress for me. We had a picknick there, the two of us. The two of us… with whom? “Are you still feeling bad?” Just after he asks so, the phone rings. “Is an old bad friend of yours coming by now?”

Looking into his laughing, then changing face as he talks on the phone, I start to shake. Beyond the white mist in my head I can clearly see how the man pulled the trigger, fell onto his bed. Oh my God! Please don’t let me have to listen to what he is going to say now. I finally understand, I understand, I understand!

“The police just called, they say your father has just… with a gun….”

Honey blade videos

hide performs “Honey Blade” live (from “FILM THE PSYCHOMMUNITY REEL”)

hide performs “Honey Blade” unplugged

Honey blade lyrics

Lyrics translated into English

It’s fleeting, therefore in fullness of bloom
With pheromones, I dream in my dreams
Even your stoic skin gets my blood flowing
I hate even the pale flowers

Look around, look around into honey blade.
Let me see, let me see your honey blade.
Show me, show me, show your honey blade.
Inside out, inside out, make it honey blade.
I’ll break you right here and now

I’m deep kissed by pieces of angels
Gatering together and crying, make love
What you say, what you say, what you say honey blade.
Lick it up, lick it up, lick me honey blade.
Bite me, bite me, bite me honey blade.
Makin’ love, make it what? Make it honey blade.
Continue to sleep inside of me
Bask in the world’s envy

Why don’t you sleep in my hand baby?
Why don’t you dance on my mind baby?
Why don’t you smile for me?
Please, please, please don’t let you go.Yeah!

When I wake up, you’re nowhere to be found
Cattleyas and a letter were left behind
That day, that time, at that place, like that, you, you,
You, you, you, you, thank god I broke you

Wanna see, wanna see, my honey blade.
Don’t go way, don’t go way my honey blade.
I look around, look around you honey blade.
Makin ‘love, makin’ love, make you honey blade.

Right now, I stare at you in a picture
With a cold gun to my head
I’ll pull the trigger… now…

Good-bye sweet my honey blade.
Sweet sweet my honey blade.
Good-bye sweet my honey blade.
Sweet sweet my honey blade.
Good-bye sweet my honey blade.
See you born again…

Lyrics in roman letters

Hakanaku yume ni saki hokoru
Yumeni yumeru feromon tachi komeru
Kimi no suto ikkuna hadasae mochi o nagashi
Awai tsubo misae monokui
Look around, Look around into Honey Blade.
Let me see, Let me see your Honey Blade.
Show me, Show me your Honey Blade.
Inside out, Inside out, Make it Honey Blade.
Ima, kono bade kimi o kowasu
Kona ganano tenshi ni Deep Kiss
Hiroi atsumenai te Make Love
What you say, What you say, What you say Honey Blade.
Lick it up, Lick it up, Lick me Honey Blade.
Bite me, Bite me, Bite me Honey Blade.
Makin’ love, Make it what? Make it Honey Blade.
Boku no naka de nemuri tsuzuke
Sekai chuuno senbou oabiyou
Why don’t you sleep in my hand baby?
Why don’t you dance in my mind baby?
Why don’t you smile for me?
Please, Please, Please don’t let me go.
Meza meru to kimi wa doko ni moinai
Noko sareta katori atotegami
Ano hi, ano toki, an bashoude, ano mama, kimi o, kimi o, kimi o,
Kimi o, kimi o, komi o kowashi tsuku sebayo katta
Wanna see, Wanna see, Wan’ you Honey Blade.
Don’t go way, Don’t go way my Honey Blade.
I look around, look around you Honey Blade.
Makin’ love, Makin’ love, Make you Honey Blade.
Ima wa shashin no kimi o mitsumi
Tsumetai gunhitai ni aete
Hiki gane o … ima …
Good-bye sweet my Honey Blade.
Sweet heart my Honey Blade.
Good-bye sweet my Honey Blade.
Sweet sweet my Honey Blade.
Good-bye sweet my Honey Blade.
See you born again ……

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Hideto hide Matsumoto


Artist name: hide
Real name: 
Hideto Matsumoto (松本秀人)
Occupations: Songwriter, guitarist, singer
Also known as: lead guitarist in X JAPAN
Solo career start: 1997 (after disbandment of X JAPAN)

template-cakeDecember 13th 1964, born in Kanagawa, Yokosuka
template crossMay 2nd 1998, in Tokyo

Member History

Hideto hide Matsumoto

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4 replies »

  1. I hope you understand that the song and the story is about an incestious relatioship between a father and a daughter. In some interview hide explained the backgrounds for the story and the song: he had seen a movie/documentary involving incest, which inspired him to write the story and therefore making the song ‘Honey Blade’.

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