In memory of hide #7

After the violation of hide’s grave, I’ve decided to dedicate this week to him and X-Japan; to honor his memory in times when others don’t. This is for all of you who loves hide.

Only people with a hearth of stone will not be touched by this story: the story about hide and Mayuko Kishi.

Mayuko and hide

Mayuko and hide

hide truly had a good heart. He was a blood-donor and involved himself in medical aid foundations and participated in the Social Medical Programme of helping very sick children.

hide & Mayuko

hide & Mayuko

He went to hospitals for charity reasons, but also to visit fans to bring some light and happiness in their lives.

This story concerns a special girl called Mayuko.

One autumn, hide received a letter from her in which she asked him to see her. She suffered from an incurable illness called “Norman-Landing disease” and had small chances to survive. Her last wish in life was to meet hide.

When this came to hide’s knowledge he immediately invited her and her parents to a concert with X-Japan. She also got a VIP-pass so she could meet him and the other members backstage where she got gifts and autographs.

Following is a description of what they say in the video below in which Mayuko meets hide for the first time.

hide & Mayuko

hide & Mayuko

[hide walks in]
hide: Sorry I’m late! Hello, how are you?
Mayuko: It’s very nice to meet you.
hide: Nice to meet you, please sit down.
[they sit]
Mayuko: I have a gift for you.
hide: Oh, really?
[Mayuko hands him a gift]
hide: Can I open it?
Mayuko: Yes.
Mother: She worked very hard on this.
hide: OK!
[The gift is a scarf and he puts it on directly]
hide: Thank you, thank you!
[hide gives Mayuko a guitar and is about to sign it]
hide: Which color?
Mayuko: Blue.
[hide signs the guitar]
Mayuko: In February I’m going to write you a letter, will you please reply?
hide: Okay!
Mother: In a few weeks she is going to the hospital and not coming back home. But she really appreciates you and we were hoping you could at least call so she could hear your voice.
hide: I will go see you, hold on, we both will!
Mayuko: Alright!

This video is sooo touching.

In the end of this video you can see that Mayuko have a VIP pass around her neck on which it’s written: “To Mayuko, I will come meet you soon. Do your best!! See you! hide.”

hide & Mayuko

hide & Mayuko

This meeting must have given Mayuko an incredible strength, cause her operation went well and her health improved. hide became so touched by her story that he registered in Bank of marrow and became a donor. When this came to the fans knowledge, a lot of them decided to follow his example.

Mayuko and hide kept contact via letters. Sometimes he came to see her and they became very close friends. He even wrote a beautiful song for her: “Misery“.

Here you can see him perform it and read its lyrics.

Mayuko did long after hide’s death speak very fondly about him on her website.

hide & Mayuko

hide & Mayuko

This is Mayuko’s own words. It’s impossible not to get tears in your eyes when you read it.

“hide used to come and play with/see me very often, sometimes Yoshiki would come as well.

During one of their performances, hide gave me a front ticket, and asked the staff members to escort me backstage to his change room. He was afraid that the fans would squash me. I waited for him in his change room, he came in and took my hand. His hands were shaking, I think he was really excited. He then carried me on his back and ran around the entire backstage, kicking people’s doors open and shouting “Yo! I have a friend to introduce to you”.

When he kicked open Yoshiki’s door, Yoshiki was dumbstruck with shock… Yoshiki hasn’t even taken off his make-up yet.

Then afterwards, they decided to go drinking. Due to my health problem, I can’t walk very fast. So, hide held my hand and walked very slowly with me. Soon enough, everyone started disappearing in front of us. Then, we saw a figure leaning against a wall in front of us. When we got near, we realized that it was Yoshiki. Yoshiki said “I’ve been waiting for you.” Then he came over and took my other hand.

Mayuko's mother, Mayuko and hide

Mayuko’s mother, Mayuko and hide

So the three of us slowly walked on. I was really happy to see Yoshiki waiting there, even though I knew he wasn’t waiting for me.

I went to hide-san’s funeral as well, I sat there and couldn’t stop crying. Yoshiki came over and knelt down beside me.

Even though he was wearing dark sunglasses, I knew that he was looking at me. I knew that he wanted to comfort me in some way so that I’d stop crying.

After a long while he finally said, “hide-ji is not here anymore, yoshiki-ni will stay with you.”

I once again started crying non-stop, Yoshiki started crying as well. He looked really sad and heartbroken. It was the first time I’ve actually seen him cry, with no make-up, no barrier, he didn’t even bother hiding it.”
– Mayuko

hide had a heart of gold. There’s not many of his kind of this earth. hide, you deserve all our respect and love.

Mayuko survived hide, but passed away 2009.

hide and Mayuko, rest in peace

hide & Mayuko

hide & Mayuko


Lyrics translated into English

Hallelujah Les miserables
Do you wanna show me how low & low?
Hallelujah Les miserables
Do you wanna show me how low & low?

Gleefully, your pain opens its wings
and floats down upon us
The afternoon light, I’ll hold your pain
and gently spread it open

Hallelujah Les miserables
If you listen to the stars’ mourns
Hallelujah Les miserables
It’s only a small matter
Say hallelujah

Maybe if I fall into the night’s darkness,
I’ll forget
The quivering emotion,
the frail dream,
the tiny tragedy

If you count the falling stars,
you’ll get bored with crying
The laughing blue moon fondles
the wound and closes it

Stay free your misery
Grasping the pain that falls upon me
with these arms

Kiss your misery
I’ll dance until I wither,
I’ll keep holding on

Stay free my misery
Stay free my misery
Stay free my misery
Stay free my misery

If this bursting pain is
only to keep me running
Stay free my misery
Fondness, hatred,
I’ll devour all of your tears

If you say you’re sad,
even the blueness of the sky
The fact that you can’t reach it
will make you cry again
The dream that holds your tiny body
engulfs the pain and becomes vivid

Stay free my misery
The pain I feel when I hold out these arms,
I grasp everything

Stay free your misery
Keep holding onto the fondness,
hatred, all

Stay free your misery
Stay free my misery
Holding onto the sorrow
that falls upon me with these two arms

Stay free your misery
I’ll dance until I wither

Hallelujah Les miserables
I wanna show me how low & low?
Hallelujah Les miserables
Do you wanna show me how low & low?
Hallelujah Les miserables
I wanna show me how low & low?
Hallelujah Les miserables
Do you wanna show me how low & low?
Say hallelujah!

Lyrics in roman letters

Hareruya ra miseraburu. Do you wanna show me how low and low?
Hareruya ra miseraburu. Do you wanna show me how low and low?
Say hareruya

Kimino itami useshisounihane o hirogetema ioritekuru
hiro no hikari kimi no kizu o daiete yasashiku hirogeteyuku

Hareruya ra miseraburu. hoshi no nigekikigeba
Hareruya ra miseraburu. hon no chiisana koto darou
Say hareruya

Yoru no yamini o chiteyuku keba wa surete shimau koto nado kamo
Yureru omoi tsukanoma no yume chiisana higeki
Furuhoshi no kazukazoetara naku noni akitarou
Warautsuki no aosakizu o nadete tojite yuku

Stay free my misery. furi sosoku kana shimi o
Sonoudeno naka ni dakishimete
Kiss your misery. kareru made o doru darou
Subete uketomeruyo kono mama
Stay free my misery. Stay free my misery. Stay free my misery.

Stay free my misery. sakuretsu suruitamiga
Kakenukeru dake no kaze naraba
Stay free my misery. amenochihare o matou hora
Kimino namida o tabechaou

Kanashii to iunaraba soro no aosasae mo
Todakana imo dokashisani kimi wa nakun darou
kimi no chiisana karada tsutsunderu yume wa
Itami o nomikomi azayaka ni naru

Stay free my misery. teo no baseba kanjiru
Sono itami ryoutede uketomete
Stay free your misery. itoshisa o niku shimio
Subete uketomete sono mama
Stay free your misery.

Stay free my misery. furi sosoku kana shimio
sonoude no naka ni dakishimete
Stay free your misery. kareru made o doru darou
Subete uketomete kono sora no shita kimi ga wararu

Hareruya ra miseraburu. I wanna show you how low and low?
Hareruya ra miseraburu. Do you wanna show me how low and low?
Hareruya ra miseraburu. I wanna show you how low and low?
Hareruya ra miseraburu. Do you wanna show me how low and low?

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Hideto hide Matsumoto


Artist name: hide
Real name: 
Hideto Matsumoto (松本秀人)
Occupations: Songwriter, guitarist, singer
Also known as: lead guitarist in X JAPAN
Solo career start: 1997 (after disbandment of X JAPAN)

template-cakeDecember 13th 1964, born in Kanagawa, Yokosuka
template crossMay 2nd 1998, in Tokyo

Member History

Hideto hide Matsumoto

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