Messy love

Morning-routines is important!

- Ohaio Gozaimasu Boobie-Rocky! (1)
– Good morning Stormy! (2)
– Ohaio Shizuoka Kitty! (3)
– God morgon Fluff-Löken! (4)
– Ohaio Shindy-sama! (5)
– Bonjour HITT! (6)
– Ohaio, kekkon shite kudasai Ruki! (7)
– Guten morgen Bill! Still alive? (8)

*phew* And now I can focus totally on coding!

*phew* And now I can focus totally on coding!


Miyavi dream

Tonight I had a dream: Miyavi came to Sweden to perform and auction stuff from stage. All money were going to charity; to the victims of the tsunami and earthquake disaster. It was only me and another person in the audience, so it was quite a painful event. (Not a lot of money so to say, but I became good friend with Miyavi ^^).


I just woke up and saw that j-glams blog have been updated with the news:

“MIYAVI will be participating in the charity project “SEND愛” to help with the recovery of the Eastern Japan Great Earthquake Disaster.”

…..!? ^^

Only REGRET what you have not done

When I went home from Stockholm this Monday, I actually felt quite happy and I realized that it was adventures like this that makes life worth living.

Seize the day, do something fun, big or small.

For me, meeting Girugämesh and a new friend meant a great deal and enlivened my everyday life that sometimes feels too ordinary. At least right now.

From now on, I’m gonna grip any chances of new experiences that might benefit my well-being. The upcoming adventures of this weekend and next week might be a good follow up.

As a teenager, I used to go to a lot of concerts, almost every weekend. I’ve been to more concerts than I can remember actually. Then, by some reason, it happened more rarely. But I should really resume that enjoyment, ’cause music is such a great part of my life.

For some days ago, me and some friends discussed the dilemma to be blind but able to hear, or to be deaf but able to see – if we had to chose. It’s a really hard choice, indeed, but during a walk the other day I realized that I would give my eyes to keep my hearing. I get way much more emotionally affected by things I hear, than things I see. Hm.. yes. What would you chose?

I wish more jrock/visual kei bands could visit Sweden. :) If I had to chose, I would pick 12012 and the GazettE, even though I probably would faint by the mere thought of them entering Swedish ground. ;p 12012 have changed a lot the last years and I prefer their original sound. The GazettE the other way, haven’t made me disappointed so far.

Today, I ran on the mountain to “Regret” by the GazettE, among else. That’s one of my favorite songs. If you haven’t heard it, I beg you to watch this video below. And even if you wouldn’t like the song, you must admit that it’s a beautiful video.

We stood together on the road
I got a piercing just like you
I wore a ring just like you
And put on rouge just like you
I colored my hair same as yours
I saw tears that look like yours
because I cried out a name
the same as yours


I want to live in Japan

I’m thinking about it more and more seriously… about living at least one year in Japan, studying Japanese.

My family tells me to wait until I’ve actually been there for a while and I suppose they got a point – but anyway – it feels so right.

I think I’m a little bit afraid. What if I don’t like it there – where do I belong?

I don’t want to be anywhere else.

Tokyo by night

Tokyo by night. Will I ever see this with my own eyes?

And as I told my friends at the pub today; right now I’m in a situation in life where I’m free to do whatever I want. Nothing can hold me back, so why should I fear or be held back by laziness.

When I visit Japan, I won’t be alone in flesh, but I will be alone in mind. I understand that now. I don’t blame anyone. How could I. It’s a little bit ironic. It’s how it always have been. It’s sad, but true. I will adapt (as my dear friend Seven Of Nine says… ^^).

My GazettE calendar <3

I’m so happy today, ’cause I finally got my ”christmas gift” in the mail – a present from me to me. ^^ For a month ago, I wanted a new calendar to hang on the wall, and as a silly groupie I am, I wanted – as a tradition – a calendar with my actual temporary favourite band. But to my disappointment – it wasn’t to find anywhere… so I decided to create my own.


At Vista Print, I designed my own gorgeous GazettE calendar – and it turned out gorgeous. Really nice, thick, glassy paper and great, colourful detailed print. I LOVE IT! (I’m gonna hang it over my bed. And dream sweat dreams…)

I also designed my own “Wataru Miyawaki” t-shirt at Vista print *very pleased*. I will certainly visit them again. ^^

At the evening, we had a nice time at the bar, me and my friends. My friend J made me remember things I had totally forgotten. Stealing and destroying equipment at the confirmation camp just because we wanted to party with punk rock (and with forbidden alcohol). Gosh… such times…

And  I found this youtube-movie. Impressive, hah? ^^


Dreams about Tokyo

Today… I’ve been dreaming a lot about travelling to foreign countries. I loved to visit Germany this summer, but I want to go more far away. And since a helpful visitor have showed me that it’s really not that expensive to go to Tokyo… well, I feel so eager to go there. It’s a dream.

I wonder how it’s like. There’s almost as many people in Tokyo as there is in whole Sweden. It’s like bunching us all together and squeeze us into one single city.

Can you picture that?

I can… and it’s a quite funny imagination.


Is it over?

Yesterday, I went home from work very late. The air was so fresh and clear at that time that I couldn’t help myself from smiling the whole way home. By some reason, a range of happy feelings exploded inside of me. People that met me must have considered me as some kind of lunatic.

While walking home, I was pondering about seasons, emotions and signs. When I was about to cross the bridge not far away from home, a certain song was played on my iPod.

My initial reaction was to skip that track ‘cause I didn’t like it, but by some reason I didn’t. And suddenly I realized that this exact thing had repeated itself the last days: the track was playing, I wanted to skip it – but I didn’t. Something wanted me to hear it. Something liked it. Something actually hoped that this specific song was going to be played.

Is it possible that my consciousness self, sculptured in the days of my growth and social heritage, had planted certain opinions in me that didn’t agree with the true “me”, my unconsciousness…? I thought: it’s boring and he sings false. The song is too long and I don’t understand what he is singing. But another part of me disagreed. It found it interesting, moving and pleasant.

I don’t know why I’m actually writing this, to be honest. But I guess it’s very hard to truly know ourselves, and sometimes there’s an actual obvious dispute between different parts of your mind. We are multi-dimensional and our depth reaches far far deeper then the taste of music.

But also, I believe in signs and I believe in following them. Irrespective of if it’s some kind of message from a higher being or just an electric signal in our brain.

When I was walking home from work today, I got that strange happy feeling again. And as I was about to cross the bridge, the exact same song was played again. I was about to skip it, but changed my mind. I looked to the right and noted the moon. It was so big and yellow, felt like it was going to blind me.

So I though, ok, now it’s time for good byes. It doesn’t have to be sad. It mostly means there’s something new to come.

But to be honest. I’m not ready to say good bye yet. Maybe it’s a process. I’ll see what my heart will tell when the moon is totally gone.

Until then, I will keep avoid listening to this song, and probably be forced to do it anyway. Because my unconsciousness self knows something that my consciousness does not.

And here it is.